So ever since my month of sobriety, life has dramatically changed. I’m having an extremely difficult time adjusting, which doesn’t surprise me cause I’ve always had a hard time with change.
For some reason every time something in my life starts getting comfortable or somewhat routine, it abruptly gets interrupted and flipped upside down. Whether this happens due to my own faults or someone else’s, doesn’t matter. It just always happens. And obviously it’s always unsettling.
This recent change has been mostly on my own terms.. I’m the one who decided to be sober for a month, slow down on the partying, and move home. 3 things that sound absolutely crazy to me when I say it. But the past couple months, which included me turning 25 and watching my best friend get married, I really started to be concerned on how long I could actually keep this going.
On another note I applied for college for the first time, which absolutely terrifies me. Being out of school for 8 years and all of a sudden giving it a shot again is something I just can’t imagine. Honestly I’m more uncomfortable with not knowing my potential anymore.. School used to come unbelievably easy to me, but who knows if that’s still the case? But besides all that I’m also extremely excited, only because I’m going to be learning about shit I’m actually interested in. Researching stuff about my major and looking in Master’s programs after I graduate has been so intriguing, words I never thought would come out of my mouth.
Bottom line is I’m not happy, for right now anyways. But I just keep reminding myself that I know this feeling.. And just like before it’ll pass with time.
Getting ready for my best friend’s wedding last weekend out in Kansas City! Makeup artist made me look real gooood.